It actually does, doesn’t it? Everything that we see in social media, the seemingly all time highs , the happy and smiles and poses and outfits and sunshine and food and restaurants and well the list goes on and I don’t even need to add all of them here because I’m sure you already know.
But here’s the funny part- if someone goes to my social media page, they will find the same, fluffy stuff, where I posted a happy picture the day after I spent the night before, crying until dawn. Why do we do even do that? Why can’t we tell the world when we are going through a hard time instead of only focusing on the “good” things?
I managed to stay away from social media for a while just for this reason: it’s too stressful to see everybody living the life we want for ourselves. It seems like everyone’s lives are all about friends, family events, weddings, friends again; basically all the fun stuff that we see in the pages of people we know and celebrities. Don’t celebrities have problems in their lives as well? I really admire those who post about the difficult moments that they faced in their lives two days ago. That way their smiling picture has the backstory behind it and we don’t live in a bubble where everything is picture perfect.
Awareness is a virtue that we often fail to recognize. If we were to live in a world where everyone only uploaded the difficult and embarrassing and upsetting moments in their lives, then we would start believing that all things in the universe are ugly and unbearable. What we see, becomes the reality remember?
But here’s the deal-breaker. It is the opposite of easy. Our lives are far from perfect. And I want to mention something here. Something that’s been bothering me lately. My life has always been chaotic and stressful in most cases (naturally because of the way I was taught to look at it). But there has been a few days when I actually lived the life I see regularly on social media. The going out with friends or family part, good company, good food, good weather, everyone around smiling, including myself, etc. So that means I am lucky and fortunate to be living that life right? Even if it was for a day?
But that bubble would burst the second the day or night was over. It became a routine that every time I had a good day, it would be followed by a depressed, lonely, doomed feeling where I would end up trying to remember what exactly I was so chirpy about the day before. And I realised why. Merely convincing ourselves to take it easy, enjoy life a bit, have fun with people around us, not let anyone or anything get to us- isn’t enough. None of it matters, because in the end my heart is still hollow inside. The problem is still there, at the very core- strong and seemingly impeccable. It’s what makes us remember that we are not happy, that nothing in our life seems to work the way we want it to.
I’ll put an end to the post here. Mostly because I don’t want to ramble on and on about something that I don’t know how to solve yet. But I want to express my thoughts and feelings so that people know that behind that smile and a daily response of : “I’m good, how are you?”, there is more pain and distraught hidden, so that they know they are not alone. I will keep going, keep pushing forward despite that dreaded feeling inside me, mostly because I don’t have the choice to quit. I don’t know where life is taking me, but I do know that there are people in this world with much worse problems than mine. I will try not to dwell too much into the past, not have a panic attack about what the future will behold and mostly try to live in the moment and give it the best I can. It’s not easy, it never will be, but I have to go on. Make the “not easy” part be worth it. Or at least try to. In the end for it to get better, it needs to get worse first.