For centuries people have fought through and adapted through their internal struggles, all the while balancing families, children, parents, jobs, responsibilities, household chores, physical illness, loss of relatives and many, many more other similar crises.
Then why is it, that me who is blessed with a lot of the above mentioned attributes ( naturally not all), have such a hard time balancing only myself? Is it simply because I have it all that I do not appreciate it, or is it because I don’t know what it’s like to have all of the above and therefore lack the mere ability to feel content due to the fact that I don’t have to deal with worse case scenarios just yet.
I wanted to publish this post as a reminder to myself as well. When I decided to write this blog, I was very aware of the fact that I wanted to motivate people in the process. But here is the honest confession- somehow for the past couple of weeks, I have been having a hard time to stay positive; which is why my number of posts on my page went down.
And without thinking, without hesitation, I fell right back to the days where my mood would swing on and off like a pendulum and I would be in a bad mood 90% of the time. Then today or probably yesterday, it suddenly hit me. I thought I had overcome that drawback of overreacting and stressing over every small thing?
Apparently not- as my everyday routine of sleeping late till the last minute-proves to me. We procrastinate getting up because we dread getting through the day. I should know, I have spent half my life living that way. But I know one thing for sure, I certainly do not want to live like that. It’s not healthy, it is a crappy feeling, it’s not helping myself or anybody else and by now I should know better.
But I don’t because it’s quite hard. I suppose relapses are normal and inevitable-if we just got up one day, decided to stay and think positive all the time, will we actually be able to pull it off? Everyday, every minute, every second? In the long haul, unless nothing goes wrong in our lives, (pfft).. we will always find a reason to be sad. Sometimes even if everything is currently fine and decent, we still feel like something is missing.
I suppose I need to re-iterate here- the struggle with one’s own self is very real. I know the idea is to make content with what we have and think positive no matter what the outcome, but the question that needs to be massively addressed here, is the how. We all behave normal as if no storm is raging in our heads, but how do we actually silent it from within? Mental peace as we call it. I have yearned for it for as long as I can remember; always within reach but never close enough.
I will end the post here tonight on this note: that I hope we are all able to find that single balance in our lives where we are not constantly trying to answer the question- ” Where is my life going?” Instead, if we can find a way to believe that wherever it is going-it will all be worth it. It’s a simple solution if you think about it, but the trick will be to remember that in order for greatness to prevail, one must endure some suffering. Because as Haruki Murakami said: “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional”. I just hope that one day I am able to prove it to you guys through my experience.