Hellow there good folks! How have you been? Honestly it has been so long since I’ve last written a post here that I feel like I never wrote a single post. And yet I still consider this as a huge … Continue reading Hiatus or Enlightenment?

No my friend, I am not talking about the onion layers. Though undoubtedly it would make you cry which is kind of the point of this conversation (I’m kidding), but the onion would be a more metaphorical reference to all the layers in our lives.

We are all made up of several masks. I don’t mean that everybody is fake. But we go about our lives behaving as though that is exactly the state of mind we are in. It’s layers and layers of politeness, keeping face, behaving normally, doing chitchat, going about our work, etc.

But what happens when we turn the lights out? When all the hustle and bustle of our day is over for the evening, and it’s just us and the darkness..and our own thoughts. All the feelings we store hidden, all the way inside at the bottom, come tumbling out one after one. Where there’s nobody around but ourselves.

The older we get, the more we realise the value of the universe around us. In a world where materialistic elements serve as our oxygen, we often fail to grasp the fact that what actually matters is the source of it all. The uncertainty, insecurity, fear, trauma, disappointments, heartbroken moments, failures.

Meanwhile, the struggles of life clashes with the logistics of the system and our eyes are covered by a thin layer of mist, thus masking what lies underneath all the fog. Happiness becomes all about showcasing it for the world, and our pain, sadness and heartache remains invisible to the naked eye, because well, how can we show our vulnerabilities to the world?

Okay, so as promised in my last post, here it is. Need to take a quick second to admit that it took a bit of work to convince myself to actually sit down to write it. I have always been the opposite of being grateful. Never actually knew the concept of it I suppose. Now when I look back at all the times I complained about things, that were nowhere near as difficult as the other crap in life, I feel silly. Then you get enlightened and grateful one fine sunny morning (especially if the weather directly affects your mood) and then lo- behold, soon enough you are disappointed by the letdowns of life and go back to complaining again. And suddenly realize all over again the hard way, how much worse things can actually get.

Therefore today I will list the things I am personally grateful for. What we see, we believe. So if we see the positives, we believe them more and more right?

Life as we know it, is a long difficult road, with only rays of sunshine here and there. If we are lucky, we are living our life running around, trying to keep up with the pace of a busy life, trying to make everything work progressively and coherently.

I guess that’s where I’ve been. Trying to find my way back into the fight. I realised that all that motivation and positivity does not come overnight. It comes in waves and at most times you forget about trying to achieve it in the first place. And when you do remember, it seems it’s too late to try again.

When I woke up this one morning with a headache and then was on my way to meet my parents, I didn’t know I would be standing in front of a waterfront in the evening. The idea was to go to a library with my laptop, and do some writing. Somehow, spontaneously enough, I decided to come here instead. Now, as I’m trying not to feel my numb fingers (courtesy of the soothing, but cool breeze), I’m typing on my laptop with a lake view in front of me. I’ve always read somewhere or watched in movies that nature always helps you to write. Maybe the little birdie who just sat on my bench to say hi, (even though he thinks staring in the opposite direction is the way to do that) will agree with me here. I guess I’m about to find out if it’s true.